Fired up for a wedding
On Monday, August 31, 2015, ‘Fired Up For a Wedding’ was the headline on the front page of the Metro section of the Tampa Tribune. This headline was the introduction to an article by Geoff Fox on the wedding of Melissa and Gary at the Shooters World in Tampa. Immediately after the wedding the couple fired shots at targets, which had been lovingly imprinted with “Melissa and Gary – Shooting Forever”. The wedding cake topper was a bride and groom each sporting a pistol which their backs to each other. The groom’s boutonniere was make of a .308 shell casing. Apparently the shooting range was their “favorite date-night destination.” The actual ceremony which took place at the banquet room of Shooter World and featured more traditional endearing and personal vows.
Well, who knew that shooting ranges had banquet rooms much less might host a wedding? Not I! Of course I am well aware that there are couples and, I suppose, families in which shooting is a shared interest. Certainly, living as a child for many years in the country I was aware that most women were taught to handle a gun in case wild animals such as coyotes attempted to bother the farm animals. Many people (men and women) also hunted animals such as deer, rabbit, and squirrel for food. Unless someone butchered a hog or a cow, families were often dependent on what one would hunt and kill. I do not, however, recall anyone ever romantizing their relationships with their guns or making guns the symbol of their relationship.
Apparently Gary and Mellissa had no trouble finding a baker who had no objections to using the image of them standing back to back each holding pistols. Perhaps they did not have as much trouble as some gay couples have had finding a baker who would use a cake topper featuring two men or two women.
Of course, I hope that Gary and Mellissa are very happy together for many years just as I hope that every other couple that marry create a loving home together which nourishes them for many years. I also hope and pray that if they have children and one of them happens to be a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person that they embrace and support the choice of their partner as much as their friends supported them in their rather unorthodox venue and wedding ritual.
Although I do not like guns in general, I certainly was appreciative of their use to insure that we had food on the table at times growing up. Although my parents did not hunt, we certainly gratefully accepted food that others gave us and enjoyed fresh pork or beef when someone butchered a pig or cow. As is true with many Native Americans, I am committed to taking a moment to express gratitude to the animal whose meat nourishes me. On the other hand, I am not comfortable with the fact that we humans kill each other with guns and other weapons. I was happy to recently read that some law enforcement folks are revisiting the issue of wider use of non-lethal weapons. Although I appreciate that any weapon could be potentially lethal to a few, i.e. stun guns, the goal of shooting to kill as is done with guns is not one that I can support. The killing of another person affects the shooter, the person killed, and the loved ones of the person killed. I do believe that we always pay a price when we hurt each other – that we are so intimately connected/interdependent - that we cannot hurt someone else without hurting all of human kind.
If either Gary or Mellissa were my child, I would have had a difficult time with their choice of venue, the choice of decorations, and some of the symbolism used, but I would hope that I would have been very supportive of their choices. If they had asked I would have shared my concerns, but only if they had asked.
Practicing what I recommend to others is not as easy for me when it comes to issues about which I strongly disagree. Yet, I know that if I want to do my part to create a more loving and just world I have to be willing to listen with love and respect to those with whom I disagree. That also then allows me to remember to be appreciative of why it is so difficult for others to “hear” some of my opinions and beliefs.
Written August 31, 2015
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